The Heart Attack

A blonde gets home early from shopping and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. She rushes upstairs to find her husband naked on the bed, sweating and panting.

"What's up?" she asks.

"I'm having a heart attack," cries the husband.

The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she's dialling, her four-year-old son comes up and says, "Mommy! Mommy! Aunt Susan is hiding in your closet, and she's got no clothes on!"

The blonde slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bed room, right past her husband, and rips open the closet door. Sure enough, there is her sister, totally naked and cowering on the closet floor.

"You rotten bitch," she screams.

"My husband's having a heart attack, and you're running around the house naked scaring the kids!"

It’s a Fact

The US has used military force a number of times, but has only actually declared war 5 times (the War of 1812, the Mexican War, the Spanish-American War, World War I and World War II).

On average, a person will spend about five years eating during his or her lifetime.

A polar bear's skin is black and its fur is not white, it's clear.